What do you do?

You’ve agreed on everything, the divorce papers are signed, and he’s moved out. You walk through your quiet home and everything is familiar, yet oddly foreign-feeling. Oh, there are reminders; the forgotten sock by the dryer, a couple of beers in the fridge (you drink wine). You feel a little emotionally hollow, as you haven’t quite bridged the gap yet. Then you see IT. The hole in the wall where the 56″ black monster of a TV used to hold center court. It’s absence while welcomed, is at the same time a mirror of the “hole” emotionally left in your heart.

Getting from point A to point B.

The hard part will be reconciling where there was once two of you, only one remains. You’re in the midst of a divorce’s emotional, roller coaster process, having left point A but not quite arriving yet at point B. However, since you’re a positive, forward-thinking woman, you begin to consider and weigh “what are my possibilities here?” “How can I turn my home into a place that truly reflects who I am and who I’m becoming?” You are intrigued at the prospect of feeling excited once more; of discovering your own “secret sauce.”

Alexandra Stoddard, a noted interior designer, said “we live our lives in chapters. If that’s so, why wouldn’t our homes change as well?” You’ve ended a big chapter in your life, and now you’re turning the page and welcoming a brand new one.

Why change your home?

When you change your home so that it fully supports you, it gives you a confidence that you take out into the world with you. There’s a buoyancy, a delicious lightness of being. You begin to see the possibilities. That pale pink living room with apple green accents you always wanted? It’s yours. The home office you had to share? You hated it because his area was always messy? Well guess what, it now has your name on the door.

Say goodbye to the “hole.”

A friend of mine told me that the Chinese symbol for chaos contained within it the symbol for opportunity. Ironic really, because by its very nature, divorce is chaotic mentally, emotionally, and physically. It is draining even when invited. When you pass through the chaos, and you will, you uncover new possibilities. Once the emotional “dust” settles, your new world comes into focus. From the chaos of his departure, arrives the freedom for you to really fly.

There’s something quite special about having a home that is beautiful to you and fully functions and supports your needs. It puts everything into perspective and becomes a source of empowerment. When your “nest” is right, the whole world feels right.

Yes, he left a space behind, the proverbial “hole-in-the wall,” but now you’re able to replace it with something you love and that calls to you and you alone.

The “hole” need not become a metaphor for your life. It now can represent a new beginning that will reward you with more joy than you ever allowed yourself to dream. Your “nest” is in order, you will see your way clear. YOU and YOU alone are the author of your life. Embrace it, embrace yourself and then let yourself fly to wherever you want to go.

P.S. One last thought. If at all possible, replace your bed. Somehow, that new bed really frees you and allows you entre into your new, exciting life.

As always, share your thoughts on my Facebook page.

Until next time…

Blessings,
Nancy


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  1. Angie says:

    I always enjoy reading your posts and always pick up a new tip or two. This one was especially heartwarming; wonderful advice for those coming to terms with their new gaping “hole.” [Tweeting this one out too, since it’s tweet-worthy. 🙂 ]

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